A Drop In The Ocean
by HHHereComesTrouble
Summary: He couldn't have her, but he was fine with just watching from afar...HHH/Steph. One-shot.


This was a one-shot that I had partially written a while back, but finished and made into a song fic today. The song is "A Drop In The Ocean" by Ron Pope. Enjoy and Merry Christmas! Reviews are highly appreciated. :)

* * *

**1999**

_A drop in the ocean,_

_A change in the weather,_

_I was praying that you and me might end up together._

_It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,_

_But I'm holding you closer than most,_

_'Cause you are my heaven. _

It was not her natural, undying beauty. Nor was it the dollar sign universally associated with her last name. Not even my lust for power drove me to this. It simply took one gaze into her eyes to make me fall in love with Stephanie McMahon.

Of course, at the time her identity meant nothing. It would have been impossible to distinguish her from any other female lurking around backstage. Chestnut hair with pale blue eyes wasn't an unheard of combination. She was…_regular_. Even her attire was nothing that would catch my eye. She wasn't overly exposed. In fact, I would have described her wardrobe as the exact opposite. She kept herself hidden mostly. Hidden from the eyes of the outside world. One would have guessed that the youngest McMahon was an introvert, based on her appearance and actions alone. Aside from the occasional greeting mustered out of courtesy, she spoke to no one. She listened to no one. She looked at no one.

Except me.

I can recall the moment as if it happened yesterday. It possesses a special place in my memory, where it is engraved in stone. Whether her stare falling upon me was intentional or not, it still did. And when it did, my life changed forever. The brief second where our eyes met was the most elongated one I had ever experienced. Time froze. Location was irrelevant, as were all other beings of life. It was just Stephanie and I. Me and Stephanie. Nothing else mattered.

Captivated by her gaze, I felt something inside of me change. Her magnificent blue orbs did more than just hypnotize me. They reflected my past. A past that I had never been ashamed of until then. I saw the blood of other men staining my hands. I saw flashes of meaningless sex with whatever girl I could lure into bed that night. I saw myself snapping out of rage at innocent bystanders on the street. Through my countless experiences, one thing remained constant: I was never happy.

Merely passing the time was a more fitting description. I was unhappy – bored with life. But how could I be bored? I was a professional wrestler, for Christ's sakes! Any living soul on the planet would have killed to be in my position. Fame. Money. Chicks. And all I had to do for any of it was wrestle. It was the one thing I was passionate about, so the benefits were just an added bonus. Simply speaking, I had everything. Yet for some inexplicable reason, I still chose to waste my time picking unnecessary fights or toying with the hearts of hopeful young broads.

And now all of this had been projected for me to see in the eyes of Stephanie. It was I that broke away from her stare. I was mentally incapable of watching another flashback. I know she recognized the disgrace in my expression as I jolted my neck.

It didn't make sense. I wasn't one of those guys who simply screwed up then forced myself to forget it ever happened. That wasn't me. Every act I had ever committed lived somewhere inside of me and was accessible at any point. Confronting my past had never been a fear of mine. I was well aware of the fact that I wasn't a good person.

Something about being in the presence of Stephanie made me feel…humiliated. Virtue and purity practically radiated from the girl. And then there was me, who lurked at the other end of the spectrum. In theory, we were polar opposites. Night and day. Black and white. Good and evil. But now I slowly felt myself being pulled in a direction that was new and unfamiliar to me. I found myself yearning to resist my old ways and move forward down a different path. It was hard for me to admit to myself, but I wanted to be good. Like her. _For_ her.

Here I sit, four months later, watching her from afar in the backstage area. Fellow wrestlers send disbelieving smirks my way as they pass through. I would expect nothing less though. She is Vince McMahon's daughter. That detail became knowledge to me nearly a week after the incident. Nothing changed though. Not my desire to embrace goodness and certainly not the developing feelings I had for this girl. Looking at her now, I don't think it's even remotely possible that the latter could ever happen.

I shake my head at myself disapprovingly. Stephanie is beautiful, and I have no idea how I had once failed to notice that. Her hair appears to be soft as silk as it cascades her shoulders in loose waves. I close my eyes and purely relish in the notion of running my fingers through her strands. A notion is really all it is though. Nothing more and nothing less. Girls like her don't associate with guys like me. Opposites may attract, but they don't mix. It pains me, yet society will never allow us to be together. End of story. For now, I'm content with just watching her – taking in every ounce of beauty she has to offer.

_I don't wanna waste the weekend,_

_If you don't love me, pretend_

_A few more hours, then it's time to go._

_And as my train rolls down the East Coast,_

_I wonder how you'll keep warm._

_It's too late to cry, too broken to move on._

"Helmsley!" My head snaps up at the interrupting, recognizable voice. X-Pac. A dear friend to me he has been, but nothing compares to what Stephanie has done without even knowing. I look at him reluctantly. His dilated pupils are a dead giveaway that he's high on something. "Man, what are you doing hanging around here for? You're missing out on the locker room celebration!"

"Celebration?"

He slaps my shoulder vigorously. "Oh yeah, Helms! Roadie got laid last night, which calls for some alcohol. And by some, I mean a few kegs. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Ummm…" My eyes automatically shift to where Stephanie is standing. My biggest concern about leaving is that she won't be here when I get back. Then I'll be left with nothing to occupy my time, which is typically what gets me into trouble. "I think I'll miss out on this one. I've gotta mentally prepare for my match tonight."

"Against Test?" he snickers. I wonder why his gaze momentarily travels toward Stephanie. "You know what they say, dude. All work and no play makes Hunter a dull boy."

"I'm honestly not in the mood, Pac."

"Suit yourself."

He shrugs off my unenthused response and heads off elsewhere. I'm just relieved that went better than anticipated. Getting dragged to some drinking celebration isn't my cup of tea, even if my friends are there. My lips press together in a tight smile when I finally focus my attention back on her. She's sifting through a stack of papers, wrapped up in her own little world. Per usual, she notices no one. That doesn't stop me from noticing her though. Sitting atop this crew storage bin, I can see all that I'll ever need. A solemn smile graces my lips as I silently acknowledge the fact that Stephanie McMahon will never love me the way I do her.

_Still I can't let you be,_

_Most nights I hardly sleep._

_Don't see what you don't need, from me._

* * *

As expected, defeating Test was an effortless victory. He lets his guard down far too frequently to not get his face pummeled in. What I wasn't counting on though was the ambush of D-Generation X at ringside after the match. They were so confident in my ability to win, but here they are, feeling the need to finish the job. From the bottom of the ramp, I turn just in time to witness X-Pac stomp into Test's neck. The blonde man yells in agony while my partner in crime taunts him from above. Under the ring, Road Dogg grabs a steel chair and his vicious intentions become evident.

I plan on just retreating to the back before things get even uglier, but the abrupt roar of the crowd catches me off guard. It is then that I realize she's standing right beside me. In all her glory, Stephanie McMahon is just feet to my left. Never has this distance between us been so short.

_Just a drop in the ocean,_

_A change in the weather,_

_I was praying that you and me might end up together._

_It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,_

_But I'm holding you closer than most,_

_'Cause you are my heaven._

But instead of being overjoyed as I should, I'm not. I feel horrible. Not only because she's crying in anguish, but because she's crying in anguish for another man's sake. Test. Suddenly my opinion of him is not so neutral anymore. I should have punched him harder in the ring. I should have made it so his blood stained the mat. My thoughts trail back to my encounter with X-Pac earlier. At the mention of Test's name, he had thrown an involuntary glance at Stephanie. Now I know why and I wish I didn't.

"Please don't!" she screeches. "Please!"

I sense her hesitancy over whether or not to enter the ring to defend her boyfriend. Although she doesn't want to see him hurt, she knows she wouldn't be of much help anyways. Not once do her eyes flicker towards me. But she seems to have made up her mind as she moves forward to climb the ring apron. Meanwhile, my friends continue their attack on Test. I bite down on my bottom lip. Their spontaneity could end with Stephanie hurt. Even though the revelation of her thing with Test has hurt me, I can't let that happen. Acting on impulse, I grab her arm and bring her stride to a halt. She looks at me with pleading blue orbs. It is clear what I must do next.

"Guys!" I holler, entering the ring. Instantly, they all stop what they are doing to look at me for further instruction. While they are probably hoping for some maniacal order, I utter something of a completely different nature. Something good. "That's enough."

They all narrow their eyes in shock, but obey me regardless of their differing opinions. It's one of the many advantages of being the leader. We then walk as a group to the ramp in complete silence. Instead of tending to her boyfriend though, Stephanie stands frozen, a bit dazed herself. I can only hope that she recognizes the goodness in me. And I can only pray that she knows she is the cause of it.

* * *

_Misplaced trust and old friends,_

_Never counting the regrets,_

_By the grace of God, I do not rest at all._

_And New England as the leaves change;_

_The last excuse that I'll claim,_

_I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl._

Leaning against a wall, I unwrap the damp tape from my wrists. I stand alone in a vacant locker room, as I have abandoned my friends for the rest of the night. They are a constant reminder of the life I struggle to leave behind. The newfound hatred I feel for Test is proof of my unwillingness to let go. Back out there, I wanted nothing more than to rip him apart. To think that I had been awestruck by a taken woman for months is something I can't bear to dwell on. To think that Stephanie deceived me with her unsocial, prudent attitude wounds me even more. Though I knew I never stood a chance with her, I never stopped hoping that maybe one day the circumstances would be different. I even went as far as becoming a better human being overall for her.

I haven't slept with one woman over the course of four months – since that day on which our eyes met. I haven't dished out brutal beatings just to amuse myself. I even find myself being more kind and respectful to her father, whom I can't stand in actuality.

_Still I can't let you be,_

_Most nights I hardly sleep,_

_Don't see what you don't need, from me._

Anything. I would do anything for her. Anything to see that breathtaking smile she's so tentative to reveal. Even if it meant risking my own reputation or my own life, I would do it for her. In a heartbeat, I would. Why?

Well, quite simply because I love her.

"Hey."

I instantly stop what I'm doing and look up to see none other than Stephanie herself lingering in the doorway. Before now, I had never heard her voice. But it sounds exactly how I had envisioned it to be in my dreams. And more. It's as sweet as honey, but soft like the hair on her head. She's wearing a slight smile as she tucks a stray brown lock behind her ear.

Paralyzed, I say nothing and in all likelihood, gawk at her like an idiot. She steps forward, letting the door click shut behind her. She approaches me slowly. Cautiously. Her hands are joined in front of her, but I only notice her eyes. The very eyes that had shown me my awful past only months ago.

_Just a drop in the ocean,_

_A change in the weather,_

_I was praying that you and me might end up together._

_It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,_

_But I'm holding you closer than most,_

_'Cause you are my…_

"I just wanted to say thank you, Hunter." I try to pay attention to the words themselves, but her voice just enthralls me. My name falling from her lips is without a doubt the single most wonderful thing my ears have ever taken in. I long to hear it again and again. "For out there, you know."

There's a brief silence, before I realize I'm the one who is supposed to speak.

"It was nothing really."

Stephanie steps closer to me. The look in her eyes is genuinely grateful, but when I think more about it, she's only happy that I saved her boyfriend. It nauseates me, but I can't help the way I feel. If I could prevent emotions from existing, I wouldn't be in love with her. "It wasn't nothing. It was sweet."

"Then you're welcome, I guess." I pause to plan out what I say next. "But for the record, it was for you, not him."

My words affect her in a way I wouldn't have imagined. Her face floods with heat, making her complexion rosy entirely. I don't even have time to contemplate what that could mean before she leans upward and brushes her lips against my cheek. "I know," she hushes.

Her breath makes my skin dance in delight and the place where she kissed me still burns with pleasure. If I hadn't seen her eyes before she turned around, I would have assumed it was a gesture of gratitude and nothing more. A simple thank you for my good deed.

But I did see her eyes.

And in them I saw love. I saw not my past, but my future. A future that included me, her, and forever.

_Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore no, no_

_Heaven doesn't seem far away._

_Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore no, no_

_Heaven doesn't seem far away…_


End file.
